The Wonders of Harrogate

Wise men of old all knew, full well,
That Waters work a magic spell,
And even in these times of ours
Some Waters still have wondrous powers.

Many come here who're ill and weak,
And always 'grousing'– so to speak,
They take the Waters – chat and laugh,
"Do they feel better, eh? – Not 'arf."

Had Hamlet lived at Harrogate
And stuck to Waters, - then, I state,
You never would have heard him boast
That he had seen his Father's Ghost.

And Macbeth, with his little wife,
Might have been happy all his life,
Avoiding fights, and rows, and slaughters,
If he'd only taken the Harrogate Waters.

Had Guy Fawkes had a Sulphur bath,
He might have trodden Virtue's path,
And lived, until he said 'Good–bye,'
A great and much respected Guy.

Magnesia as a tonic's great,
Had Charles Peace lived at Harrogate,
And regularly had a dram
He might have lived a perfect lamb.

The Waters of this wondrous Town
Have, justly, gained a wide renown,
To those who're old they bring back youth,
And make all liars tell the truth.

Cure Bolshie Bills and other Reds,
Produce hair on the baldest heads,
Make husbands honest as the day,
And wives love, honour, and obey.

In fact, if you have any ills,
Don't fly to quacks or nasty pills,
Ensure yourself a happy Fate
With Waters drawn from Harrogate.