The Agricultural Show at Harrogate

If you're in Harrogate in August, you should always go
To see the sights and the great delights of the Agricultural Show,
The cattle are made of the finest beef, and the milk contains no chalk,
The calves are made of the finest veal, and the pigs are made of pork.
There's a terrible row the whole day long, the cow, she stands and moos,
The ducks all quack and are answered back by the cock–a-doodle–doos.
The bulls all bellow throughout the day, the donkeys start to bray,
But if you offer the horses beer, they always answer "neigh".

The Agricultural Show
Is a great success you know,
Lots of honey from bumble bees,
Pigeons, goats, and performing fleas,
Gorgonzola and Stilton cheese,
Beautiful eggs and housemaids' knees,
Rabbits and hares and cats and dogs,
Rats and mice and toads and frogs
At the Agricultural Show.

You see all sorts of people there
The fat as well as slim,
Some have faces shaved – and some
Have whiskers round the rim,
Ladies talking all the day
As if they'd never stop,
Men with hair upon their heads,
And some who're thin on top.

The beauty of the girls who're there excitement keen arouses,
Some of them wearing lovely frocks, and others wearing blouses.

So if you're wanting a ripping time,
Fun in plenty and laughter prime,
Good as a Christmas pantomime,
Just take my tip, and go
To Harrogate and it's up–to–date
Agricultural Show.