The Harrogate Cure

The Harrogate Waters we drink with elation,
No longer C3 – we're a wonderful nation,
Although we develop profuse perspiration
We find, very shortly, we're cured
Of the maladies lately endured.

Talk about Kruschen! their powers are so healing
They give all who take 'em a juvenile feeling,
They fatten the babies, and stop 'em from squealing,
And give quiet nights to their Ma,
And also their suffering Pa.

Like a lion I feel when the cure I have taken,
My nerves steady down that were once very shaken,
For breakfast I eat seven slices of bacon
As well as some kippers and toast,
And bread (half a quartern, almost).

You folks who have taken the famed Sulphur Waters –
Proclaim them abroad to your sons and your daughters,
And help to stop War with its horrible slaughters,
Bring nearer a season of peace,
And make all our blessings increase.

By using them freely our manners are polished,
And jealousies, quarrels and rows are demolished,
It wouldn't surprise me to see War abolished
If everyone took up the Cure,
It would mean the Millenium – sure.

So three cheers for Harrogate! curing and bracing,
Inspired by your Virtues, the Future we're facing,
And all gloomy thoughts from around us we're chasing,
Of Happiness everyone's sure
All thanks to its wonderful Cure.