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                                               Jokes at Harrogate

 

 

They're fond of jokes at Harrogate, the same as other towns,
The Hotel Keepers welcome all the Smiths and Jones and Browns;
They run their bills up week by week, and when their guests are broke,
They pack them off, and "take in" more it is a paying joke.

At Harrogate I had a vivid dream, the other night,
I ordered, in a Hotel Bar, a double "Black and White,"
I paid for it, took up my glass, and just then I awoke,
Before I'd time to drink a drop, a dry and thirsty joke.

At our Hotel a person stayed who had some funny ways,
He worked a stunt that jokers worked in prehistoric days,
He used to place a pin on chairs of unsuspecting folk,
And watch the fun when they sat down – it was a standing joke.

A newly–married friend of mine at Harrogate once said,
"You mayn't, p'raps, believe it, but it's funny being wed ;"
And a melancholy looking man lugubriously spoke
"Well, I've been married twenty years, and I can't see the joke."

A lady at a Hydro here, I won't tell you a cram,
She is so stout, she's ninety inches round the diaphragm,
She leaned down to pick up a pin, and just then something broke,
When I looked at the lady's dress – it was a ripping joke.

"Open your mouth and shut your eyes" to some old friend you cry,
Whilst holding up a glass of port to raise his hopes on high
And when his mouth is opened wide, the silly little bloke,
Pours Sulphur Waters down his throat–that is a tasty joke.
 


 
 
 

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